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Sunday, June 9, 2013

Week 25 Day 7 - Lessons of Marriage, Men's Edition 1


As you can see, I am getting on here pretty late tonight. I worked 12-8 today so it kind of ruined my day. Even worse, that is what I will be working the rest of the week. It looks like that is the whole point behind my new position, is to have somewhere there later, to cut specials and clean up.

I was going to review my subscription box that I received from Hungry Globetrotter today, but I have so much to say about it, and I am just too tired tonight. Check them out and I will tell you more in a future post. They have a pretty cool service, sending you monthly international recipe "kits". Unique, Organic, and Delicious!

This morning, while taking a shower, I saw a long, brown hair on the side of the shower wall. And it got me thinking about everything I have learned while being married...

  • There is hair EVERYWHERE. The bathroom floor, the bed, my car, you name it, there's female hair there.
  • The closet is hers. Don't bother trying to get some closet space. Closets were invented for women. Dressers are for guys. Half of the dresser. Oh, and the top of the dresser is theirs too.
  • Leave the decorating up to them. Guy's, we are not interior designers, face it. Let them pick everything. It will save you a lot of headaches. And they will be a lot happier, too. When the woman is happy, everyone is happy.
  • She cooks, you do the dishes. Maybe this doesn't apply to everyone. She cooks breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I do all the dishes. Fair enough.
  • Don't waste your money on a king-size bed. She's going to sleep on top of you anyways. The extra price for extra space= pointless. Same goes for couches.
  • When they want to talk to you, they are going to talk to you. It doesn't matter if your busy, or using the restroom, or taking a shower, or watching tv. They will always have something to talk about. Example: Right now, even though I am clearly occupied writing this blog, I am being told about some grapeseed oil that we should buy. Learn to tune it out guys, or else you will never make it.
  • Your opinions don't really matter. Even though your input is expected, it won't change her mind. But you better give it, and you better be sincere.
  • Your money is not your money. I used to hear older men talk about how they only have a few dollars to spend, and think that it was ridiculous. I now live on about 10 dollars allowance per week. Enough for my daily donut and energy drink.
  • Her needs come first. I needed new work shoes for months. I stand on my feet 8 hours per day at work, and they were literally peeling apart. But she needed new clothes. One closet full isn't enough. Her work will fire her if she doesn't have new outfits... And then she won't have a job or an income.... So she really needs those clothes, you know.... (end sarcasm)
  • Hold her purse. She will ask you to hold her purse, in public. It's not because she needs you to hold it. This is a test. I repeat, a TEST. If you hold it, you must love her. You are willing to have your man card taken away from you while people pass by and stare. Hold it, and hold it proud. Just don't walk around with it swinging from your arms. That's not normal.

Well it's dinner time. Whatever she is making smells really good. Can't wait to do those dishes!

Don't forget to share PregoForMen with all of your friends!


  1. I'm the hair spreader in our family.... Short black beard hairs everywhere....

    I kind of wish we had a king sized bed these days.. .


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